Bradley Ward Added by Bradley Ward
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[Intro]
| + G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G |
[Verse 1]
C A7
This song is called Alice's Restaurant
D7 G
It's about Alice
C G Am7 G C
And a restaurant
A7 D7 G Am7
But Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant
G C
That's just the name of the song
C7 F D7
And that's why I call the song Alice's Restaurant
C A7 D7 G C G Am7 G
[Verse 2]
C A7 D7 G C G Am7 G
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
C A7 D7 G Am7 G
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
C C7
Walk right in it's around the back
F D7
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
C A7 D7 G C G Am7 G
And you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
[Verse 3]
C A7
Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago
D7 G C G
Was on, two years ago on Thanksgiving
Am7 G C A7
When my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant
D7
But,
G Am7
Alice doesn't live in the restaurant
G C C7
She lives in the church nearby the restaurant in the bell
F
tower
D7
With her husband Ray, and Fasha the dog
C A7
And livin' in the bell tower like that they got a lot of
D7 G
room downstairs
C G Am7 G
Where the pews used to be, and
C
Havin' all that room
A7
Seein' as how they took out all the pews
D7 G C G Am7
They decided that they didn't have to take out their
G
garbage
C
For a long time
A7 D7
We got up there we found all the garbage in there
G Am7 G C
And we decided it'd be a friendly gesture
C7 F
For us to take the garbage down to the city dump
[Verse 4]
D7 C
So we took the half a ton of garbage
A7
Put it in the back of a red VW microbus
D7 G
Took shovels and rakes,
C G Am7
and implements of destruction
G C A7
And headed on toward the city dump
D7 G C G
Well we got there
Am7 G
And there's a big sign,
C
and a chain across the dump
A7 D7
Saying "Closed on Thanksgiving"
G
And we had never heard of a dump
Am7 G C
Closed on Thanksgiving before
C7
And with tears in our eyes
F
We drove off into the sunset
D7 C
Looking for another place to put the garbage
A7
We didn't find one
D7 G C G Am7 G C
'Til we came to a side road
A7
And off the side of the side road
D7 G
Was another fifteenfoot cliff
C G Am7 G C
And at the bottom of the cliff was another pile of garbage
A7 D7 G
And we decided that one big pile is better than two little
piles
Am7 G C C7
And rather than bring that one up we decided to throw ours
down
F
That's what we did and
D7
Drove back to the church
C A7
Had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat
D7 G C G
Went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning
Am7 G C A7 D7 G
When we got a phone call from officer Obie
[Verse 5]
C G Am7 G
He said "Kid
C A7
We found your name on an envelope
D7 G Am7 G
At the bottom of a half a ton of garbage and
C C7
Just wanted to know if you had any information about it"
F
And I said "Yes sir, Officer Obie
D7
I cannot tell a lie
C A7 D7 G
I put that envelope under that garbage"
C G Am7 G
C A7
After speaking to Obie for about fourty five minutes on
D7
the telephone
G C G Am7
We finally arrived at the truth of the matter,
G
and said
C A7
That we had to go down and pick up the garbage and
D7 G Am7
Also had to go down and speak to him at the
G C
Police officer's station
C7 F
So we got in the red VW microbus
With the shovels and rakes,
D7
and implements of destruction
C A7
And headed on toward the police officer's station
Now friends
[Verse 6]
D7 G C G Am7 G C
There was only one or two things that Obie coulda done
At the police station
A7 D7
And the first was that he coulda give us a medal
G C G Am7 G
For being so brave and honest on the telephone
C
Which wasn't very likely,
A7
and we didn't expect it
D7 G Am7
And the other thing was that he coulda bawled us out
G C C7
And told us never to be seen driving garbage around the
vicinity again
F D7
Which is what we expected
C
But when we got to the police officer's station
A7 D7 G C
There was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted
G
upon
Am7 G C
And we was both immediately arrested
A7
Handcuffed
D7 G C
And I said "Obie I don't think
G Am7 G C
I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on"
A7 D7
He said "Shut up kid
G Am7 G C
Get in the back of the patrol car"
[Verse 7]
And that's what we did
C7
Sat in the back of the patrol car
F D7
And drove to the quote, scene of the crime,
unquote
C A7
I wanna tell you about the town of Stockbridge,
D7
Massachusetts
G
Where this happened here
C G Am7 G
They got three stop signs
C A7
Two police officers and one police car
D7 G
But when we got to the scene of the crime
C G Am7 G C
There was five police officers and three police cars
A7 D7 G
Being the biggest crime of the last fifty years
Am7 G C C7
And everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it
F D7
And they was using up all kinds of cop equipment
C A7
That they had hanging around the police officer's station
D7 G
They was taking plaster tire tracks,
C G Am7
foot prints Dog
G
smellin' prints
C A7 D7
And they took twenty seven eightbyten color glossy
G
photographs
C G Am7 G C
With circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of
each one
A7 D7 G
Explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against
Am7 G
us
C
Took pictures of the approach,
C7
the getaway
F
The northwest corner,
the southwest corner
D7 C
And that's not to mention the aerial photography
A7 D7 G
[Verse 8]
C G Am7 G C
After the ordeal we went back to the jail
A7
Obie said he was going to put us in the cell
D7 G C G
Said "Kid I'm going to put you in the cell
Am7 G C
I want your wallet and your belt"
A7
And I said "Obie
D7
I can understand you wanting my wallet
G Am7 G C
So I don't have any money to spend in the cell
C7
But what do you want my belt for?"
And he said "Kid,
F D7
we don't want any hangings"
C
I said "Obie,
A7 D7 G
did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?"
C G Am7 G C
Obie said he was making sure,
A7
and friends Obie was
D7
'Cause he took out the toilet seat
G C G Am7 G
So I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown
C A7
And he took out the toilet paper
D7
So I couldn't bend the bars, roll out
G Am7 G C
The roll the toilet paper out the window
C7
Slide down the roll and have an escape
F
Obie was making sure
D7 C
And it was about four or five hours later that Alice
A7 D7 G
Remember Alice? It's a song about Alice
C G Am7 G C
Alice came by,
A7
and with a few nasty words
To Obie on the side,
D7 G
bailed us out of jail
C G Am7 G
And we went back to the church
C A7
Had another Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat
D7
And didn't get up until the next morning
G Am7 G C
When we all had to go to court
[Verse 9]
C7 F
We walked in, sat down
Obie came in
D7 C
With the twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
A7
With the circles and arrows
D7 G
And a paragraph on the back of each one
C G Am7 G
Sat down
C A7
Man came in, said, "All rise"
D7 G
We all stood up
C
And Obie stood up
G Am7 G C A7
With the twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
And the judge walked in
D7 G
Sat down with a seeing eye dog
Am7 G C C7
And he sat down, we sat down
F
Obie looked at the seeing eye dog
D7
C A7
And then at the twenty seven eightbyten color glossy
D7
pictures
G
With the circles and arrows
C G Am7 G C
And a paragraph on the back of each one
A7
And looked at the seeing eye dog
D7 G
C G Am7 G C A7
And then at twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
With the circles and arrows
D7 G
And a paragraph on the back of each one,
Am7 G
and began to cry
C C7
'Cause Obie came to the realization
F D7
That it was a typical case of American blind justice
C
And there wasn't nothing he could do about it
A7
And the judge wasn't going to look at
D7 G C G Am7 G
The twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
C
With the circles and arrows
A7 D7
And a paragraph on the back of each one
G
Explaining what each one was
C G Am7 G C
To be used as evidence against us
A7 D7
And we was fined fifty dollars
G Am7 G
And had to pick up the garbage in the snow
C
But,
C7 F
that's not what I came to tell you about
D7 C A7
Came to talk about the draft
D7 G C G Am7 G
[Verse 10]
C A7
They got a buildin' down New York City
It's called Whitehall Street
D7 G
Where you walk in
C G Am7 G C A7
You get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected,
and selected
D7 G Am7 G
C C7 F
I went down to get my physical examination one day
D7
And I walked, in I sat down
C A7
Got good and drunk the night before
D7
So I looked and felt my best
G C G Am7
When I went in that mornin'
G C A7
'Cause I wanted to look like the allAmerican kid
From New York City
D7
Man, I wanted,
G C G Am7
I wanted to feel like the all
G C A7
I wanted to be the allAmerican kid from New York
D7
And I walked in, sat down
G Am7 G C
I was hung down, brung down, hung up
C7
And all kindsa mean, nasty, ugly things
F D7
And I walked in and sat down
And they gave me a piece of paper
[Verse 11]
C A7
Said, "Kid see the psychiatrist,
D7
room 604"
G C G Am7 G
And, and I went up there,
C
I said "Shrink
A7
I wanna kill
D7 G C G Am7 G C
I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill
A7
Kill
D7
I wanna, I wanna see
G Am7 G
I wanna see blood and gore and guts,
C
and veins in my teeth
C7 F
Eat dead, burnt bodies
D7
I mean kill
C A7 D7 G
Kill, kill, kill!"
C G Am7 G C
And I started jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill,
A7
kill!"
D7 G
And he started jumpin' up and down with me
C G Am7 G
And we was both jumpin' up and down
C A7
Yelling, "Kill, kill!"
D7
And the sergeant came over,
G
pinned a medal on me
Am7 G C
Sent me down the hall, said,
"You're our boy"
C7 F
Didn't feel too good about it
[Verse 12]
D7 C
Proceeded on down the hall
A7 D7
Getting' more injections, inspections, detections,
G
neglections
C G Am7 G C
And all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
A7
At the thing there
D7 G C G
And I was there for two hours, three hours,
Am7 G
four hours
C A7
I was there for a long time
D7
Going through all kinds of mean nasty ugly things
G Am7
And I was
G C
just having a tough time there
C7
And they was inspecting,
F D7
injecting every single part of me
C
And they was leaving no part untouched
A7 D7 G
Proceeded through and I
C G Am7 G C
When I finally came to the see the very last man
A7
I walked in
Walked in,
D7
sat down after a whole big thing there
And I walked up,
and said "What do you want?"
[Verse 13]
He said "Kid we only got one question
Have you ever been arrested?"
G Am7 G
C A7
And I proceeded to tell him the story of
D7 G
Alice's Restaurant Massacre
C G Am7 G C
With full orchestration and fivepart harmony
A7
And stuff like that and all the phenome..
.
D7
"Stop it right there"
And said "Kid,
did you ever go to court?"
G Am7 G
C A7
And I proceeded to tell him the story of
D7 G C
The twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
G Am7 G
With the circles and arrows
C A7
And a paragraph on the back of each one
D7
And, "Stop it right there",
and said "Kid
I want you to go over and sit down on that bench
That says 'Group W'
Now kid!"
G Am7 G C A7
[Verse 14]
D7 G C G
And I, I walked over to the,
Am7
to the bench there
G
And there is,
C
there is Group W's where they
A7
Where they put you
D7
If you may not be moral enough to
To join the army
G Am7 G
After committing your special crime, and
C C7
There was all kinds of mean nasty,
ugly lookin' people
On the bench there
F
Mother rapers
D7
Father stabbers
C
Father rapers!
A7
Father rapers
D7 G
Sittin' right there on the bench next to me!
C G Am7 G
And, one They was
C A7
mean and nasty and ugly and horrible
D7 G
Crimetype guys just sitting there on the bench
C G Am7 G C
And the meanest ugliest nastiest one
A7
The meanest father raper of them all
D7
Was coming over to me
G Am7 G C
And he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible
And all kind of things
C7 F
And he sat down next to me and said
D7 C
"Kid, whad'ya get?"
A7 D7
I said, "I didn't get nothing
G C G
I had to pay fifty dollars,
Am7 G C
and pick up the garbage"
A7 D7
He said, "What were you arrested for,
kid?"
G C G Am7 G
And I said, "Litterin'"
C A7 D7
And they all moved away from me on the bench there
G
And the hairy eyeball,
Am7 G C
and all kinds of mean nasty things
C7
'Til I said, "And creatin' a nuisance"
F D7
And they all came back, shook my hand
C
And we had a great time on the bench
A7
Talkin' about crime, mother stabbing,
D7
father raping
G C G Am7 G
All kinds of groovy things that we was talking about
C
On the bench
[Verse 15]
A7
And everything was fine
D7 G
We was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things
C G Am7 G
Until the sergeant came over
C A7 D7
Had some paper in his hand
G Am7 G
Held it up and said "Kids
C
Thispieceofpaper'sgot fourty seven wordsthirty seven
sentences
Fifty eightwordswewannaknowdetailsofthecrime
Timeofthecrimeandanyotherkindofthing
Yougottasaypertainingtoandaboutthecrime
Iwanttoknowarrestingofficer'snameand
G Am7
Anyotherkindofthingyougottasay"
G C
And he talked for fourty five minutes
A7 D7 G
And nobody understood a word that he said But
C G Am7 G
we had fun filling out the forms
C A7
And playing with the pencils on the bench there
D7
And I filled out the massacre
G Am7 G C
With the fourpart harmony
C7
And wrote it down there just like it was
F
And everything was fine
D7
And I put down the pencil
C A7
And I turned over the piece of paper
D7
And, and there
G Am7 G C C7
There on the other side
F D7
In the middle of the other side
C
A7 D7 G C G Am7 G
Away from everything else on the other side
C A7 D7 G
In parentheses
C G Am7 G C
Capital letters
A7 D7
Quotated
G Am7 G C
Read the following words
C7 F
"Kid,
D7 C A7
have you rehabilitated yourself?"
[Verse 16]
D7 G C G
I went over to the sergeant, and said
Am7 G C
"Sergeant, you got a lot a damn gall
A7 D7 G
To ask me if I've rehabilitated myself I mean
C G Am7 G
I mean
C A7
I mean, I'm just,
D7
I'm sitting here on the bench
G
I mean,
Am7 G C
I'm sitting here on the Group W bench
C7
F D7
'Cause you wanna know if I'm moral enough
C
To join the army, burn women, kids,
A7
houses and villages
D7 G
After being a litterbug
C G Am7 G C A7
He looked at me, and said,
"Kid
D7 G C G Am7 G
We don't like your kind
C A7
And we're gonna send you fingerprints off to Washington"
D7 G Am7 G C
And friends, somewhere in Washington
C7
Enshrined in some little folder
F D7 C
Is a study in black and white of my fingerprints
[Verse 17]
A7 D7 G C
And the only reason I'm singing you this song now Is
G Am7 G
'cause you may know
C A7
somebody in a similar situation
D7 G C G Am7 G C
Or you may be in a similar situation
A7
And if you're in a situation like that
D7
There's only one thing you can do
G Am7 G C
Is walk in to the shrink wherever you are
C7 F
Just walk in, say "Shrink
D7
C A7 D7 G C
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant" And
G Am7
walk out
G
C A7
You know if one person,
D7 G
just one person does it
C G Am7 G C
They may think he's really sick and they won't take him
A7 D7
And if two people,
G Am7 G C
two people do it In harmony
C7 F
They may think they're both faggots
D7
And they won't take either of them
C A7 D7 G
And if three people do it
C G Am7 G C
Three,
A7
can you imagine three people walking in?
D7 G C G Am7
Singin' a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out
G C
They may think it's an organization
A7 D7
And can you,
G Am7 G
can you imagine fifty people a day
C
I said fifty people a day
C7 F
Walking in, singin' a bar of Alice's Restaurant,
D7
and walking out
And friends,
C
they may think it's a movement
A7
And that's what it is
D7 G C G Am7 G C
The Alice's Restaurant AntiMassacre Movement
A7
And all you got to do to join
D7 G C G Am7 G
Is to sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar
C A7
With feelin'
D7
So,
G Am7 G C
we'll wait 'til it comes around on the guitar here
C7
And sing it when it does
F D7 C
[Verse 18]
A7
Here it comes
D7 G C G Am7 G
C A7 D7 G C G Am7 G
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
C A7 D7 G Am7 G
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
C C7
Walk right in, it's around the back
F D7
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
C A7 D7 G C G Am7 G
And you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
[Verse 19]
C
That was horrible
A7 D7 G C
G Am7 G C
If you want to end war and stuff you gotta sing loud
A7 D7
I could put a lot...
G Am7 G C
I been singing this song now for twenty five minutes
C7 F
I could sing it for another twenty five minutes
D7 C
I'm not proud
A7 D7 G
Or tired
C G Am7 G C
So we'll wait 'til it comes around again and
A7 D7 G
This time with fourpart harmony and feelin'
C G Am7 G C
A7 D7
We're just waitin' for it to come around
Is what we're doing
G Am7 G C C7 F
D7 C
[Verse 20]
A7 D7 G
All right now
C G Am7
G C A7 D7 G C
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
G Am7 G
Excepting Alice
C A7 D7 G Am7
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
G C C7
I said walk right in it's around the back
F D7
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
C A7 D7 G C
And you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
[Outro]
G Am7 G D7
Da da da da da da da dum
G Am7 G C G C
At Alice's Restaurant
[Intro]
| + G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G |
[Verse 1]
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G |
This song is called Alice's Restaurant
It's about Alice
And a restaurant
But Alice's Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant
That's just the name of the song
And that's why I call the song Alice's Restaurant
[Verse 2]
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G |
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
And you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
[Verse 3]
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago
Was on, two years ago on Thanksgiving
When my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant
But,
Alice doesn't live in the restaurant
She lives in the church nearby the restaurant in the bell
tower
With her husband Ray, and Fasha the dog
And livin' in the bell tower like that they got a lot of
room downstairs
Where the pews used to be, and
Havin' all that room
Seein' as how they took out all the pews
They decided that they didn't have to take out their
garbage
For a long time
We got up there we found all the garbage in there
And we decided it'd be a friendly gesture
For us to take the garbage down to the city dump
[Verse 4]
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
So we took the half a ton of garbage
Put it in the back of a red VW microbus
Took shovels and rakes,
and implements of destruction
And headed on toward the city dump
Well we got there
And there's a big sign,
and a chain across the dump
Saying "Closed on Thanksgiving"
And we had never heard of a dump
Closed on Thanksgiving before
And with tears in our eyes
We drove off into the sunset
Looking for another place to put the garbage
We didn't find one
'Til we came to a side road
And off the side of the side road
Was another fifteenfoot cliff
And at the bottom of the cliff was another pile of garbage
And we decided that one big pile is better than two little
piles
And rather than bring that one up we decided to throw ours
down
That's what we did and
Drove back to the church
Had a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat
Went to sleep and didn't get up until the next morning
When we got a phone call from officer Obie
[Verse 5]
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - |
He said "Kid
We found your name on an envelope
At the bottom of a half a ton of garbage and
Just wanted to know if you had any information about it"
And I said "Yes sir, Officer Obie
I cannot tell a lie
I put that envelope under that garbage"
After speaking to Obie for about fourty five minutes on
the telephone
We finally arrived at the truth of the matter,
and said
That we had to go down and pick up the garbage and
Also had to go down and speak to him at the
Police officer's station
So we got in the red VW microbus
With the shovels and rakes,
and implements of destruction
And headed on toward the police officer's station
Now friends
[Verse 6]
| D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - |
There was only one or two things that Obie coulda done
At the police station
And the first was that he coulda give us a medal
For being so brave and honest on the telephone
Which wasn't very likely,
and we didn't expect it
And the other thing was that he coulda bawled us out
And told us never to be seen driving garbage around the
vicinity again
Which is what we expected
But when we got to the police officer's station
There was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted
upon
And we was both immediately arrested
Handcuffed
And I said "Obie I don't think
I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on"
He said "Shut up kid
Get in the back of the patrol car"
[Verse 7]
| C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
And that's what we did
Sat in the back of the patrol car
And drove to the quote, scene of the crime,
unquote
I wanna tell you about the town of Stockbridge,
Massachusetts
Where this happened here
They got three stop signs
Two police officers and one police car
But when we got to the scene of the crime
There was five police officers and three police cars
Being the biggest crime of the last fifty years
And everybody wanted to get in the newspaper story about it
And they was using up all kinds of cop equipment
That they had hanging around the police officer's station
They was taking plaster tire tracks,
foot prints Dog
smellin' prints
And they took twenty seven eightbyten color glossy
photographs
With circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of
each one
Explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against
us
Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway
The northwest corner,
the southwest corner
And that's not to mention the aerial photography
[Verse 8]
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - |
After the ordeal we went back to the jail
Obie said he was going to put us in the cell
Said "Kid I'm going to put you in the cell
I want your wallet and your belt"
And I said "Obie
I can understand you wanting my wallet
So I don't have any money to spend in the cell
But what do you want my belt for?"
And he said "Kid,
we don't want any hangings"
I said "Obie,
did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure,
and friends Obie was
'Cause he took out the toilet seat
So I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown
And he took out the toilet paper
So I couldn't bend the bars, roll out
The roll the toilet paper out the window
Slide down the roll and have an escape
Obie was making sure
And it was about four or five hours later that Alice
Remember Alice? It's a song about Alice
Alice came by,
and with a few nasty words
To Obie on the side,
bailed us out of jail
And we went back to the church
Had another Thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat
And didn't get up until the next morning
When we all had to go to court
[Verse 9]
| C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G |
We walked in, sat down
Obie came in
With the twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
With the circles and arrows
And a paragraph on the back of each one
Sat down
Man came in, said, "All rise"
We all stood up
And Obie stood up
With the twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
And the judge walked in
Sat down with a seeing eye dog
And he sat down, we sat down
Obie looked at the seeing eye dog
And then at the twenty seven eightbyten color glossy
pictures
With the circles and arrows
And a paragraph on the back of each one
And looked at the seeing eye dog
And then at twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
With the circles and arrows
And a paragraph on the back of each one,
and began to cry
'Cause Obie came to the realization
That it was a typical case of American blind justice
And there wasn't nothing he could do about it
And the judge wasn't going to look at
The twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
With the circles and arrows
And a paragraph on the back of each one
Explaining what each one was
To be used as evidence against us
And we was fined fifty dollars
And had to pick up the garbage in the snow
But,
that's not what I came to tell you about
Came to talk about the draft
[Verse 10]
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - |
They got a buildin' down New York City
It's called Whitehall Street
Where you walk in
You get injected, inspected, detected, infected, neglected,
and selected
I went down to get my physical examination one day
And I walked, in I sat down
Got good and drunk the night before
So I looked and felt my best
When I went in that mornin'
'Cause I wanted to look like the allAmerican kid
From New York City
Man, I wanted,
I wanted to feel like the all
I wanted to be the allAmerican kid from New York
And I walked in, sat down
I was hung down, brung down, hung up
And all kindsa mean, nasty, ugly things
And I walked in and sat down
And they gave me a piece of paper
[Verse 11]
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
Said, "Kid see the psychiatrist,
room 604"
And, and I went up there,
I said "Shrink
I wanna kill
I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill
Kill
I wanna, I wanna see
I wanna see blood and gore and guts,
and veins in my teeth
Eat dead, burnt bodies
I mean kill
Kill, kill, kill!"
And I started jumpin' up and down yelling, "Kill,
kill!"
And he started jumpin' up and down with me
And we was both jumpin' up and down
Yelling, "Kill, kill!"
And the sergeant came over,
pinned a medal on me
Sent me down the hall, said,
"You're our boy"
Didn't feel too good about it
[Verse 12]
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| G - Am7 G | C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - |
| D7 - - - | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - |
| C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - |
| - - - - | - - - - | - - - - | - - - - |
| - - - - | -
Proceeded on down the hall
Getting' more injections, inspections, detections,
neglections
And all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
At the thing there
And I was there for two hours, three hours,
four hours
I was there for a long time
Going through all kinds of mean nasty ugly things
And I was
just having a tough time there
And they was inspecting,
injecting every single part of me
And they was leaving no part untouched
Proceeded through and I
When I finally came to the see the very last man
I walked in
Walked in,
sat down after a whole big thing there
And I walked up,
and said "What do you want?"
[Verse 13]
G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - |
| D7 - G - | C G Am7 G | C - - - | A7 - - - |
| D7 - - - | - - - - | - - - - | - G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | - - - - |
| - - - - | - - - - | - - - - | - G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - |
He said "Kid we only got one question
Have you ever been arrested?"
And I proceeded to tell him the story of
Alice's Restaurant Massacre
With full orchestration and fivepart harmony
And stuff like that and all the phenome..
.
"Stop it right there"
And said "Kid,
did you ever go to court?"
And I proceeded to tell him the story of
The twenty seven eightbyten color glossy pictures
With the circles and arrows
And a paragraph on the back of each one
And, "Stop it right there",
and said "Kid
I want you to go over and sit down on that bench
That says 'Group W'
Now kid!"
[Verse 14]
| D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - |
And I, I walked over to the,
to the bench there
And there is,
there is Group W's where they
Where they put you
If you may not be moral enough to
To join the army
After committing your special crime, and
There was all kinds of mean nasty,
ugly lookin' people
On the bench there
Mother rapers
Father stabbers
Father rapers!
Father rapers
Sittin' right there on the bench next to me!
And, one They was
mean and nasty and ugly and horrible
Crimetype guys just sitting there on the bench
And the meanest ugliest nastiest one
The meanest father raper of them all
Was coming over to me
And he was mean 'n' ugly 'n' nasty 'n' horrible
And all kind of things
And he sat down next to me and said
"Kid, whad'ya get?"
I said, "I didn't get nothing
I had to pay fifty dollars,
and pick up the garbage"
He said, "What were you arrested for,
kid?"
And I said, "Litterin'"
And they all moved away from me on the bench there
And the hairy eyeball,
and all kinds of mean nasty things
'Til I said, "And creatin' a nuisance"
And they all came back, shook my hand
And we had a great time on the bench
Talkin' about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping
All kinds of groovy things that we was talking about
On the bench
[Verse 15]
| A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | - - - - | - - - - | - - - - |
| - - - - | - - - - | - - - - | - G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - |
And everything was fine
We was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of things
Until the sergeant came over
Had some paper in his hand
Held it up and said "Kids
Thispieceofpaper'sgot fourty seven wordsthirty seven
sentences
Fifty eightwordswewannaknowdetailsofthecrime
Timeofthecrimeandanyotherkindofthing
Yougottasaypertainingtoandaboutthecrime
Iwanttoknowarrestingofficer'snameand
Anyotherkindofthingyougottasay"
And he talked for fourty five minutes
And nobody understood a word that he said But
we had fun filling out the forms
And playing with the pencils on the bench there
And I filled out the massacre
With the fourpart harmony
And wrote it down there just like it was
And everything was fine
And I put down the pencil
And I turned over the piece of paper
And, and there
There on the other side
In the middle of the other side
Away from everything else on the other side
In parentheses
Capital letters
Quotated
Read the following words
"Kid,
have you rehabilitated yourself?"
[Verse 16]
| D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - |
I went over to the sergeant, and said
"Sergeant, you got a lot a damn gall
To ask me if I've rehabilitated myself I mean
I mean
I mean, I'm just,
I'm sitting here on the bench
I mean,
I'm sitting here on the Group W bench
'Cause you wanna know if I'm moral enough
To join the army, burn women, kids,
houses and villages
After being a litterbug
He looked at me, and said,
"Kid
We don't like your kind
And we're gonna send you fingerprints off to Washington"
And friends, somewhere in Washington
Enshrined in some little folder
Is a study in black and white of my fingerprints
[Verse 17]
| A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - |
And the only reason I'm singing you this song now Is
'cause you may know
somebody in a similar situation
Or you may be in a similar situation
And if you're in a situation like that
There's only one thing you can do
Is walk in to the shrink wherever you are
Just walk in, say "Shrink
You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant" And
walk out
You know if one person,
just one person does it
They may think he's really sick and they won't take him
And if two people,
two people do it In harmony
They may think they're both faggots
And they won't take either of them
And if three people do it
Three,
can you imagine three people walking in?
Singin' a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out
They may think it's an organization
And can you,
can you imagine fifty people a day
I said fifty people a day
Walking in, singin' a bar of Alice's Restaurant,
and walking out
And friends,
they may think it's a movement
And that's what it is
The Alice's Restaurant AntiMassacre Movement
And all you got to do to join
Is to sing it the next time it comes around on the guitar
With feelin'
So,
we'll wait 'til it comes around on the guitar here
And sing it when it does
[Verse 18]
| A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
Here it comes
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in, it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
And you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
[Verse 19]
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - |
That was horrible
If you want to end war and stuff you gotta sing loud
I could put a lot...
I been singing this song now for twenty five minutes
I could sing it for another twenty five minutes
I'm not proud
Or tired
So we'll wait 'til it comes around again and
This time with fourpart harmony and feelin'
We're just waitin' for it to come around
Is what we're doing
[Verse 20]
| A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C G Am7 G |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - - - | G - Am7 G |
| C - - - | C7 - - - | F - - - | D7 - - - |
| C - - - | A7 - - - | D7 - G - | C
All right now
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Excepting Alice
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
I said walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
And you can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
[Outro]
G Am7 G |
| D7 - - - | G - Am7 G | C - - - | - G C - |
Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's Restaurant
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