Jort Storm

[Intro]
G#m
   This just in
                                                E
We're receiving reports that a new fad is taking the nation
by storm
Its name? Jorts
G#m
   But it appears as if this
                                          E
Breakthrough in jeanshort splicing technology
Is causing irregular weather patterns all across the globe,
ah

[Verse 1]
    G#m
It's   the warmer season so I can't wear jeans
      E
I really like the denim,
but not the length of the seam
G#m                                             E
   My mom dresses cas' and my dad likes to preen
I'm not like either of them
I got the recessive gene

[Chorus]
G#m
   Jort Storm!
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
E
 A Jort Storm!
       F#           G#m
It's a category five
Jort Storm!
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
E                      F#
 I said a jort storm's coming,
                   G#m
better run and hide

[Bridge]
Jorticane
D#m
   Jortnado
E
 Jortnami
F#
  Jortquake
G#m
   Jortruption
F#
  Jortalanche
B    D#
 Jortpocalypse

[Chorus]
G#m                    F#   G#m
   The jort storm's comin', Jorts!
              F#    B
So you better start runnin'
E
Fast, it's a chase
       D#
But be careful 'cause these jorts will chafe you,
yeah
G#m                     F#    G#m
   They're the new sensation, Jorts!
                  F# B
Wear 'em to every occasion
E
Jorts in the pool
         D#
Oh, even better, wear 'em to a funeral,
yeah

[Verse 2]
G#m
   My personality is ninetynine percent jorts
E
 I got a genetic test,
                             G#m
but all my genes were shorts!

[Chorus]
A Jort Storm!
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
E
 A Jort Storm!
       F#           G#m
It's a category five
Jort Storm!
D#m
Jort storm's comin' tonight
E
 I take off my fucking jorts,
F#                    G#m
  I gotta jorts inside

[Bridge]
Breaking news
D#m                             E
Millions of Americans are being sucked directly into the
   F#
jortex
                        G#m
And it's headed straight   for this studio
      F#               B
To my wife Cheryl, and son Timmy
       D#
I love Ahh!

[Chorus]
G#m
Jorts!
               F#
The elders foretold
G#m
Jorts
         F#  B
Of a fashion so bold
  E
A new god of the Earth, Jortthulhu
     D#
Seal it in denim and turn it into Jearth

[Kazoo Solo]
G#m F# G#m F# B
E D#

[Outro]
G#m E G#m E