Lower Your Expectations

[Intro]
E C#m A B E C#m
A B
E                C#m
 We all want love
A                       B
 How many single ladies out there,
                   E     C#m
looking for love tonight?
A                       B
 Yeah, woo that sadness out
E C#m
     There's more where that came from
A B E                        C#m
     Ladies, I know what you want
A    B
 Want
Want

[Verse 1]
E
 You want a guy that's sweet,
a guy that's tough
C#m
   A feminist who likes to pay for stuff
A
 The kind of guy that gets along with your friends
        B
Without being attracted to any of them
E                                  C#m
 A good boy, a bad boy; a good bad boy;
A half good, half bad, half boy
A
 Loves your brothers,
sensitive but not weak and
B
Is a great lover,
calls your mother on the weekend

[Pre-Chorus]
C#m              A                   E          B
   Now you might think that this guy only exists in your
    C#m A
mind
           E B
Guess what:   You're right!

[Chorus]
E           C#m
 If you want   love,
A B                 E          C#m
  lower your expectations a few
               A                       B
Because Prince Charming would never settle for you
  E        C#m
If you want   love,
A     B                  E
 just pick a guy and love him
    C#m                          A
And if he's got a thing for feet, say: "Fuck it,
B
sweep me off 'em"

[Interlude]
E   C#m              A       B
 Now   the good thing is that
E                  C#m                        A
 at least men have very realistic expectations for women...
B
 He said,
sarcastically setting up a second verse in a comedy song

[Verse 2]
E
 You want a girl that's nice,
a girl that's not
C#m
   Obsessed with her looks,
but is insanely hot
A
 The kind of girl that you can show to your folks
          B
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your
jokes
E
 A real girl,
                         C#m
a hot girl; a really hot girl;
A brand new, really hot, real doll
A
 Wants to impress you,
doesn't care if you notice
    B
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with

[Pre-Chorus]
C#m              A                    E          B
   Now you might think that this girl only exists in your
    C#m A
mind
               E             B
But she's real, but last week she died

[Chorus]
E           C#m
 If you want   love,
A B                 E          C#m
  lower your expectations a lot
                         A
You might think your dick is a gift,
     B
I promise it's not
  E        C#m
If you want   love,
A     B                   E
 just pick a girl and love her
                   C#m              A               B
Then whip out your dick and let the girl you love decline
the offer

[Bridge]
A                   E
 I don't want a neat freak,
                   B
I don't want a slob
Somebody with bedhead and a deadend job
A               E              B     C#m B
 'Cause I won't settle for less than perfect
A                     E
 We want perfect children,
a perfect life
B
 A perfect husband or a perfect wife
A    E
 But deep down we know,
B           C#m   B
 we don't deserve it
But

[Outro]
  E           C#m
We all deserve   love,
A B                       E               C#m
  even on the days when we aren't our best
'Cause we all suck,
A                 B
 but love can make us suck less
  E           C#m A
We all deserve     love,
         B                   E        G#7
it's the very best part of being alive
    A
And I would know,
  B                  E
I just turned twenty five