Sad

[Intro]
C F
C Em7 C                       F
      Get on my level, Madison
C                                       Em7
Picture a depressed onion cutting itself
C F C Em7 C F C Em

[Verse 1]
        C                  F
I met a homeless man named Rich
          C      G
He wasn't, isn't that terrible?
        C               F            Am
I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn't have any
    Em
legs
        C           F
I saw a diabetic kid
Am         G
  trick or treating
  C                    F
I saw a giraffe who had a short neck
Am            G
That was sad, or a deer
E           F           C     G
I saw an old man get hit by a train
          E                         F
He didn't see it in the pouring rain
          C                                     G
He didn't hear me shout "Look out for the train"
E
 'Cause I didn't say anything

[Bridge]
C F C Em7 C
           I just thought to myself,
F C                         Em7
   "Oh this is gonna be sad"
C F C          Em7 C           F
    And it was.    I'm a genius

[Verse 2]
C
Em        C                F   C      G
  I saw a man with only one eye in a 3D movie
        C                      F             Am
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone directly on his
               Em
mother's corpse
        C                F              Am
I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then the kitten jumped off
       G
and he hung itself
        C                   F
I saw a boy who had red hair
Am G
E                 F            C               G
 I went to a store looking for something to buy
                   E                         F
But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy
    C                      G
No, wait! This store sells mirrors!
           E
See what I did there?
Let's rock!

[Interlude]
C Em
No
F                          Fm
The world's so sad, Madison
C                                  Em
Pain, war, genocide, racism, sexism
F                                                      Fm
But I gotta remember there are good things about it too
C
Like the fact that none of that's happening to me,
      Em
score!
F
Still though,
                                Fm
it's hard not to be sad about it
C                  Em
How do y'all do it?
F                                 Fm C
I've been telling you terribly sad   things this whole song,
Em F                          Fm
   you haven't been sad at all
C
You've been happy.
                          Em
No, you’ve been laughing
F
That’s it, laughter,
                            Fm
it’s the key to everything
C                                                   Em
It’s the way to solve all the sadness in the world
F      Fm C
I mean,   not for people who are actually sad,
Em F                         Fm C
   but for the people like us   who’ve gotta fucking deal
                       Em
with ‘em all the time
F                       Fm C                         Em
Being a comedian isn’t   being an insensitive prick
F              Fm C
capitalizing on   the most animalistic impulses of the
       Em F                   Fm
public,   it’s being a hero!
C
The world isn’t sad.
Em F                    G
   The world’s funny! I get it now! I'm a sociopath!

[Verse 3]
         C
I saw an old man slip and fall,
F Am                G
    what a fucking idiot
        C                           F
I saw a woman at her daughter’s funeral
Am          G
Hahaha! Classic comedy!
C                        F  Am              G
Everything that once was sad  is somehow funny now
    C                  F
The Holocaust and nine eleven?
Am                         G
That shit’s funny twenty four seven
       E                 F         C      G
'Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about
           E                    F
Because my empathy is bumming me out
C       G
 Goodbye sadness

[Outro]
E      C    F C Em7 C
 Hello jokes